Loud & Clear, September 23, 2009

The past week has been a journey. I took a trip back to Midland County to attend a hearing to recuse the judge in my case. The judge that presided over the hearing ruled against us and allowed the judge to stay on my case. That was expected. It is almost impossible to get a judge removed from a case. Part of our complaint was the judge refused to appoint my other lawyer to my appeal. Recently they obtained a clearance from the Court of Criminal Appeals and there is also a Supreme Court ruling that supports our position. So they are going to try again to be appointed. They did get to assist in the hearing to recuse the judge.

I did get a smile from the hearing. In the final argument the prosecutor really had a great argument on why the judge was not wrong in refusing to appoint my other lawyer. At least he thought he did. That was until my lawyer had his turn to speak and he demolished the prosecutors argument. The prosecutor was so sure of himself that he repeated his same argument twice and even looked at the head prosecutor in the audience and nodded at her and she gave him a thumbs up! Which the fact he repeated himself only allowed my lawyer to point out how the prosecutor was “talking in circles”. So that was enjoyable.

The ride there and back was long but ok. Two of the officers I know from the County jail. They were Corporals there. They left the jail and now do SWAT and warrants. The fact that they know me helped them at least be polite. Before when I went back I had to deal with dumb ass rednecks, one even chained me to the divider in the car. So it was at least nice to have respectful officers.

The state has as well already responded to my appeal. They did not address directly no one issue in my appeal. They did not even deny lying or having witnesses lie at my trial. Nor did they deny withholding evidence. Instead they just filed a bunch of shit that supposedly points to guilt that was presented at my trial. So basically the prosecutors are saying, “so what we lied, withheld evidence and had witnesses lie under oath at trial, none of that matters because he is guilty” I would also note that no additional or new evidence was presented that deals with my ballistic reports and etc. Which is all New. I am not sure when the hearing on my appeal will be. It will be before 2010.

In additional news. The saga of Cameron Willingham continues. Governor Rick Perry was in the media denouncing the “So called” experts. OK. Who is right? The at least 7 top rated in the nation experts or Rick Perry? One of those experts was retained by Rick Perry's own commission. So he attacks his own expert? Ok. What about the cases of Ruben Cantu, Carlos DeLuna, and Gary Graham? All from Texas. Then we got the case of Larry Griffin. What about the mentally impaired inmates who lacked the ability to speak out on their behalf? See that is the problem with most hyper conservative politicians. They refuse to admit error. Even when faced with the clear truth. It would have served Perry better to admit the mistake and tighten up on these errors and review other cases. Instead he charges ahead. All this does is scare the population. What happened to Willingham and Ernest Willis could have happened to anyone reading this. Though Willis got lucky. Fires happen all the time. So Yes, it could have happened to you. Then we got Supreme Court Justice Scalia saying proving innocence is not enough to free an innocent man. Keep in mind what I said about hyper conservatives. That comment was made by Scalia in the Troy Davis ruling by the Supreme Court. Thankfully Scalia was speaking for the minority and Mr. Davis was granted relief.

In additional news in the past three months two former death row inmates in Texas was freed. One guy from the Austin Yogurt shop killings and Michael Toney. I was surprised the press didn't pick up on that fact. I guess they didn't know to put the pieces together.

I am going to wrap this up. To all reading for the first time,

please go to www.saveaninnocentlife.com and read my prior articles and case information. I greatly appreciate your time and attention.
I leave as I came.
Respectfully
Clinton Young #999447
Polunsky Unit DR
3872 FM 350 South
Livingston TX 77351
PS Thankfully the commissary manager was nice enough to allow me to get stamps. The pod I am on bought them a day before I got back. Though since on lockdown we can only get $10 worth of stamps. They didn't have to allow me to get stamps but thankfully they did.

Loud & Clear, Septembr 14, 2009

FORGIVENESS!!

Forgiveness. Most of us seek it out. More of us try to be better people by giving it. Do you know the elements of forgiveness? Sympathy? I have a friend, actually two that 'preach' to me about it.. A book was recently being discussed by my neighbor and I. The book is Belly of the Beast. It's about prison. I didn't read all of the book as the guy the book is about is a marxist. (A follower of Karl Marx, the author of the communist manifesto). I as well disagree with the writers understanding of prison racism. Which is different than everyday racism in the free world. Anyways. I drift. In one part of the book he writes about a person that is locked up by the state from the age of a young teenager to adulthood and how that person can't truly understand forgiveness, sympathy and such. He will be aware of these things, but the application of it is foreign to him. The reason being that prison life is built around the Alpha Male complex. Who's the toughest.

As a result of this forgiveness and sympathy is not often shown. If it is , it is perceived as a weakness. Even something as simple as saying “I am sorry” or even “thank you” has too much of a formal air to it.

This often causes conflicts with some that I write. I was told once by someone during an argument, that I was ungrateful. She went on about what she done for me and such. Now I would say “I appreciate it”. I didn't realize there was a difference. “Thank you” carries a deeper meaning. In prison we often just say “appreciate that”. Now she was pissed at me so it was really more about her strengthening her position in the argument, so was looking for reasons. But it got me to thinking.

Having been locked up for so long it conditions me towards certain behaviors. Some even positive. Example. The Motel I always hung out at before I got this case, there were several couples that lived there as well as others that was a common presence. So there was more often than not, some drama at one time or another.

When someone would make a comment about it to me I would respond with “say that aint my business huh” This in general caused others to have more trust in me. Now in prison getting other peoples business is a way to get hurt. Humans are naturally curious. We keep up with others naturally as part of the tribal system or social structure. There is a difference on being aware and speaking on the matters of others. Speaking on it is associated with gossip. Gossip is associated with women.

Anything associated with stereotypical woman concepts is seen as a weakness in prison. It's the Alpaha Male complex. Forgiveness, sympathy, compassion and etc is considered traits of a woman. I am speaking in concern of the beliefs in an environment that is ran by the Alpha Male ideology. To understand a system you have to understand the foundation and creator of that system.

Who creates the prison systems? The government. Who operates the system? The government. Why would the government enjoy an Alpha Male environment? Very simple. If the inmates are too focused on the pecking order amongst each other, how can we focus on them.

The United States has the largest prison population. It is one of the VERY few countries in the world that locks up juveniles for life without parole. The system will have a hearing to certify a juvenile as young as 14 years old as an adult. That juvenile will then be able to be sentenced under the adult laws. A 14 year old gets none of the adult privileges, but as soon as he/she breaks the law they get the punishment of an adult.

Thousands, tens of thousands, of juveniles are thrown into juvenile prisons, then conditioned while there as a means to survive and then released to the public. Many officers in TYC would state “we just get them ready for TDCJ” (TYC, juvenile system, TDCJ, adult system) In the trial testimony that should be posted on my website www.saveaninnocentlife.com , of Rachel Polk. She makes comment about fights being such a common occurrence. They get numb to the violence.

Now to sum it all up.
The conversation about the book helped me to realize how the system conditions us against having forgiveness and remorse. The ability to understand how to apply it. In prison if you see someone getting bullied the proper thing to do is stay out of it. As it ain't your business. The only real difference in TYC and TDCJ, was how the inmates would unite against the guards. In TDCJ unity amongst prisoners is almost non-existent. Unless they are mutual gang members. In TYC, unless you was a sorry lowlife or child molester, if the guards done something foul to an inmate everyone would unite. There was numerous times that gangs was in full war and would halt their conflict and go after the guards. Then when the conflict with the guards ended, they would go back to their war. BUT if the conflict was inmate on inmate you stayed out of it.

Now I myself understood and appreciated the concepts of forgiveness, sympathy, etc. But only towards certain groups, such as the innocent, the elderly, women and children. In the Alpha Male environment that is who you respect and protect. But emotion still isn't proper to be shown. It took me a year to really get comfortable with my trial lawyers and not keep up the tough guy image. So they had seen the tears and fears. They had seen the tears I shed about the murders. More so Samuel Petreys' murder. But in the court room, more so in front of the prosecutors, I didn't want them to see me sweat. I didn't want them to think that they had me scared. So I carried on as if it was no big deal. What I wasn't thinking about was how others not understanding all I had been through, would fail to understand my actions. So the victims family looked at me as arrogant and without remorse. Now I didn't kill their loved one. Though I still felt pain and regret over the even and loss of their loved one. One of the few times I lost control of my emotions in my trial was when they showed the photo of Samuel Petrey and his granddaughter.

So emotions aren't totally alien to me. Though the conditioning I revived by spending so many years in a violent Alpha Male environment, I had lacked the ability to properly understand how to apply and read these different emotions.

So the very system that creates these behavioral patterns uses it against us, to condemn us.
My neighbor is an old school black dude that has been in the system for decades on the row. We have known each other and lived around each other off and on through the years I have been here. We have daily discussions on different matters. More so political arguments. Though there is lots of self reflection on my part, so I will engage him in conversation about thought of myself and different events. It is taboo, due to some of the personal conversations and interaction I do have with him. Prison politics concerning race. Anyways, I digress. But still am feeding the point. The United States of America. One of the so called super powers. The so called “greatest nation on Earth” Leader of democracy.

How is it that such a great place destroys its youth? Condition us then kill us. Why is it that this great nation in rankings of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Developments 30 free market countries, American 15 year olds come in 21st in science and 25th in math! OUT OF THIRTY! We lead the world in incarcerated youth. We trail the world in educated youth.

Many politicians are currently in an uproar from both sides about health care. When the very fabric of our nation is being destroyed. The future of our nation depends on those that the government seems the least concerned about. We lock up our undereducated youth, condition them towards remorseless behavior and then we kill them or lock them up again and condemn them as sociopaths or demons for being victim to their very own system.

California, Texas, and Florida. What do these states have in common? The largest death rows in the nation. What else? The worst juvenile prison systems in the nation. Floridas' juvenile system is designed like TYC. In the halls of Marlin state school with was the orientation unit for all TYC offenders. (it is now mark state school in Mark Texas.)

Well on the wall was all kinds of newspaper articles about Florida setting up their juvenile system like TYC. Guess who was governor of Texas? George Bush. Guess who was governor of Florida? Jeb Bush, yes they are brothers. The connection to focus on is the link of worst juvenile system and largest death rows.

Now something I want all to do. Hopefully many of you do it. I want all to read “The Unmaking of the criminal mind” by Bobby Delgado. Now he was a gang leader that became a Christian. So the book contains religious concerns but a good deal of it is about the prison system. The design of it. Trust me, it is a must read! His full name is Robert Vallejo Delgado. Though the book is most likely under Bobby Delgado. Read it and you will have a much better understanding of this world we call prison. There are many books that contain his writings, but the one that you need to read is “The unmaking of a criminal mind”

To wrap it up by drifting back to the beginning of this article. There is always more to know to properly understand myself. As well as why the prosecution does and says the things they do. A perfect example is from the New Yorker article about Cameron Todd Willingham. They used Led Zeppelin and Iron Maiden to make Todd a demon. He didn't testify on his own behalf, so the prosecution gets away with it. If listening to Led Zeppelin and Iron Maiden make you a sociopath and mean you're into satanic behavior, then between the US and Europe we got about one hundred million demonic sociopaths. More so since Led Zeppelin was one of the all time greatest selling rock bands. Prosecutors are elected. When are you going to break your conditioning and stand up for justice?

Whats the name of Beyonces last CD? What is the name of the three top selling clothing brands? How many children drop out of school in your state? How many children go to jail in your state? Which two questions can you answer?

I am trying to improve my ability to forgive. I try to increase my ability to be more open. It is a journey.

I leave as I came.

Sincerely

Clinton Young #999447
Polunsky Unit
3872 FM 350 South
Livingston TX 77351

PS Catia, you got a letter on its way. I was finally able to get stamps.

Loud & Clear, September 8, 2009

STRENGTH!!

How strong is a man supposed to be? What is the measure of a man? In a way the measure of a man is like the concept of reality. It's according to the person and culture. Reality is based on perception.I had someone that is a a close friend write me in concern of some of my my previous articles. That she wasn't amused by them and thought I was stronger than that. I am in no way condemning her words! It isn't about that, but her words got me to thinking and that is what inspired this article. I honestly don't know which article she is talking about. I have been under so much stress lately that I can't even recall what I wrote in my articles the past few weeks. I was in an emotionally displaced mind frame I guess you could say. Though it did get me to thinking. How strong am I supposed to be? Can my strength be measured by my resistance against the system? Or in my ability to maintain my humanity and contain myself? In a recent article I pointed out the story in the New Yorker about the kind of cells I am housed in. Let me tell ya, them thoughts and rage are true. For the longest my resistance is what kept me going. The fact that I had to battle my previous lawyers at every turn. It was like I had no win no matter which way I turned. So my foundation was built upon my struggle. Then I got new lawyers on my appeal. Instead of being happy, I felt sad and kind of lost. It's the first time I ever had thoughts of harming myself, when I should have been rejoicing. I didn't have to fight that struggle anymore. My resistance against the system. I never felt more alive than when I was fighting the system with others. The struggle, the adversity. It motivated me. I felt alive. Against the odds! Me getting ran in on by the guards and pepper sprayed often confuses people. Some here report how scared or nervous they feel when they get a use of force. I commend them for fighting through their fear, but I never felt that . I felt energized. Right when the door opened and they started coming in, I felt a sense of calmness. Afterwards I would feel so relaxed and in a great mood. I never slept better than the night after a use of force.I think that is due to the release of so much pent up energy. Not all my moments have been strong though. I have felt helpless. I have been so consumed with rage at the guards and just life in general, that I was on my knees in the middle of my cell floor with my head pressed against the floor biting my knuckles so hard they bled. Thinking of nothing else but lashing out at the guards. I have laid in bed thinking of just not writing no one els. Going to level three and never writing another person! The oppressive nature of the system. The tigerish lust to annihilate of the courts and prosecutors. The ignorance of the people. And mostly the lies and pipe dreams of those that should be by my side and or claim a desire to be. As well as the drama games that take place in here with other inmates.It all adds up. More so due to my personality. Some people are able to survive in here because they have no ability to guide themselves. They are satisfied with letting others run their lives. Their whole life has been spent as sheep. So their weakness helps them survive. My strength has helped me to survive and on the other hand almost destroyed me. I had to deal with lawyers trying to kill me. An investigator that blew one of my appeals due to smoking crack with witnesses and filing false statements in my appeal. Then an investigator was hired by a friend of mine for “ a lot of money”. It was all wasted due to my lawyers at the time refusal to even speak with the investigators. The lawyers sent me paper work to sign to give them permission. I signed it and they got it! Well they just started to refuse to return the investigators calls. They didn't speak to my investigator until ten days before my appeal was due. When they did speak with him, they had him look into a bunch of frivolous bullshit that only burned up the money. Matters that they knew was baseless and false! Basically they diverted the investigators from anything that pertained to showing I was innocent. You don't believe me? Well the friend that was dealing with the investigator is still around! It isn't my place to put her out in the public. She was shocked by it all. Then I was able to finally get these lawyers off my case. I get appointed the federal public defenders office from Los Angeles California. As well as Donald Vernay of New Mexico. I was the ONLY Texas inmate with a federal public defenders office on his case. The fifth Circuit region of the United States which is Texas, Louisiana, and Mississippi. I believe that is the only three states in the 5th Circuit. No where in the 5th Circuit did any other inmate but me have federal defenders office on a case.This rarity did open some doors and upset some people. The result of having them on my case is me being back in the trial level court with proof that the prosecutors hid evidence and had people lie. They also helped to get the ballistic testing that shows that I didn't do both murders. Before I was only able to get a report on one of the murders. The murder of Samuel Petrey is the one that mattered the most as his death is what makes it a Capital Murder. I had two counts. Two murders for one count and murder robbery for the other count. Samuel Petrey was listed in both counts. So without his death, there is no Capital offense. If I prove I am innocent to his murder, I prove I am innocent of Capital Murder. I have done that.The sates own experts show I couldn't have done the murder. They also uncovered that the judge over my trial whom is also the very same judge I am back in front of, sent a letter to all of my jury members telling them I am dangerous and deserve to die. He then turned around and denied my motion for new trial and then denied my state writ of habeas corpus. The appeals court found that there was no harm in him sending that letter to my jury and sent me right back in front of him. For 67 days he would not even appoint me a lawyer. I had to write him and request to represent myself if he wasn't going to appoint my same lawyers. It would have been more complicated for them to let me do that, so he appointed Donald Vernay back on my case. The lawyers have to be reappointed at every level of appeal. Though he refused to put the two lawyers working on my case from California. The reason given was not a valid one, so my lawyers filed for reconsideration and provided proof that the judges reason was invalid. He still refuses to appoint them. I am starting to think that this judge is a tad bit biased. What do y'all think?Also to make things a little more interesting, guess who gets to investigate the prosecutors for presenting false testimony and withholding evidence? THE VERY SAME PROSECUTION OFFICE! That's right. Midland County District Attorneys Office gets to investigate Midland County District Attorneys Office for misconduct! The current head prosecutor is one of the prosecutors listed as withholding evidence. So I have a judge that has openly stated that I deserve to die and the same prosecutors who withheld evidence investigating themselves and dealing with my case. I mean please really think about that!NOW you all see why my stress level is so high? Why I try so hard to get the funding raised for future legal cost and try as hard as I can to get media attention? I had to fight like hell to get the previous lawyers off of my case. I finally get decent lawyers and I got to fight like hell to get them back on my case!JUSTICE AND FAIRNESS?Time ticks on.... In the meantime I strive to stay strong. Next issue. I have previously made mention of the case of Cameron Todd Willingham. I recently got some articles on his case. Old and new. I BEG you all to go to www.chicagotribune.com and look up the article posted August 25,2009 by Steve Mills. The article I got in the mail had three of the comments posted. It shows an indicator of (34) comments by the date the article was printed for me. The top comment of the three that got printed someone cites his final statement. The next comment cites Willingham v. State. Which is what the appeal judge wrote out. They take the words of the prosecutor and repeat it in their opinion. Which makes the defendant look as bad as possible. Well in the opinion that is listed on the comment, it makes it seem like Willingham had no concern for his kids, and was only worried about his car. He just sat there watching it burn. Well the VERY NEXT comment was taken from the New Yorker in an investigation they done. It goes on to say that while talking to a fireman another fireman carried out one of his kids and Todd ran over to her and seen her and then tried to run in the house. They had to put him in handcuffs and tackle him to keep him from running to the house after his other two kids. He even punched a cop giving him a black eye to get away from them to go in the house that was burning. A fireman even said that prior to all that they had to also hold Willingham back, as it was too dangerous.So you see how the opinion by the state court paints this image of an evil person that just sat there watching his house burn up with his kids in it and was only worried about his car. Yet upon further digging it gets revealed that “Oh what do you know” but he had to be restrained, not once but twice and even assaulted a cop to try to get inside the house! The first fireman on the scene had to keep him back. Yet the courts opinion says that Willingham showed ZERO concern for his kids and no remorse.See what people don't realize is that when a prosecutor files a response to an appeal, they ONLY pick and choose and present the bits and pieces that absolutely support the prosecutions position. So the whole picture isn't presented. Then if the court, which in the past more often than not does, if they accepted the prosecutors findings of fact, then the court adopts that finding and presents it as their ruling. An example from my case, the court says I shot a man during a home invasion, yet this VERY same man that was shot says that I didn't even have a gun. I got his testimony! He says it in his testimony and in the initial police report. Yet the state doesn't quote that. Well since the defendants lawyers file the appeal first and then the state responds to it, we have no idea of what the state will say. So there is a guessing game on what to raise and what to say in the appeal. The cards are stacked against us is what I am saying here. Willinghams' situation is a prime example. The prosecutors make me out to be some violent hell bent on total destruction guy when I was free, but when a person looks a little deeper it all starts to fade away. The media often doesn't help as most Texas media caters to the prosecution. When you read the words the “states position” well the state is the same as saying the prosecutor or district attorney. They represent the state. So when we say the “state” does this or the “state” does that, more often than not it is about the prosecution, when reference to something filed in an appeal. I just thought it was interesting on how the comments posted about Willinghams' case (on the row we called him Todd) and show how the state propagated one perception, yet there was a totally different reality.There was another media report from Texas. I think it was in Waco or the Houston Chronicle, where one of Todds' lawyers, his trial lawyer, just totally smashed on him and called him all kinds of liar and names and goes on about how he seen the house and it was started by Willingham. Now this lawyer doesn't know shit about forensic science. People will read those articles and think “wow, Willingham must be guilty and deserve what he got” what they will not think about is that this attorney is trying to cover his ass and the fact that if he would have done a proper job Willingham would not have been executed. So if he let an innocent man die it is bad for business. So this lawyer gets out in the media and in a totally unethical manner and just slams on Willinghams' character and says he is guilty. When the nine different experts that have reviewed Willinhams case say the fire investigators totally blew the investigation and testified in a false manner that was more fantasy than reality.Now an actual state committee is reviewing the case. If they rule in a manner such as the other nine experts, then it will be the first time ever a state committee openly admits an innocent man was executed. So it will be interesting to see if they do it or try to cover it up.Time will tell.It is little specks of light that shimmer in all the darkness that helps to provide strength. The thought of being able to hold on a little bit longer. My websites are finally getting shaped up. So maybe some progress can be achieved. To all those helping and focused on what matters I truly appreciate it. A couple have stepped up to shape things up. Their help was a godsend. Though they need numbers and assistance.

Time ticks on.....

I leave as I came

Sincerely

Clinton Young #999447

Polunsky Unit

3872 FM 350 South

Livingston TX 77351

Loud & Clear, August 26 2009

This is going to be short and sweet. I don't feel much like writing. I haven't heard from my sister since she last came to visit me on 8/8. Of course if something happened to her I couldn't exactly depend on my family to inform me. Anyways , don't want to get into that can of worms.

Due to the current problems of lack of communication, I ask that anyone that is thinking about ordering the DVD to please hold off. Also at this time please don't send any funds to the pay pal (Clint has been informed just recently that the pay pal has been sorted out and transferred to a new banking institution). Those that do help with stamps please send it to me through jpay.com thanks. Beyond Christy being a close sibling, she had control over everything for me, so that is a problem on all levels.

As for my legal situation. I finally got one of my lawyers on my case. Having to fight to get the other two appointed. The judge denied them for a bogus reason.I didn't get a lawyer on my case until I wrote telling the judge to allow me to represent myself if they wasn't going to appoint my lawyers. As it had been over 60 days. A few days later he appointed the lawyer. It's a fight every step of the way.

If some of the posted articles don't make sense, well that's because one wasn't supposed to be posted and two other articles Christy had, so the order was all messed up. Plus as far as I know an article that I sent Randi in July wasn't posted. Anyways, I don't feel like going into much else here.

To anyone that has ordered the DVD but haven't received it yet, please just hang tight until I get everything figured out. Keep an eye on my site as I will inform everyone of the changes and such.

I leave as I came

Respectfully,

Clinton Young #999447

Polunsky Unit

3872 FM 350 South

Livingston, Tx 77351

Copyright © 2009 by Clinton Lee Young. All rights reserved

Loud & Clear, July 29 2009

If it's not one thing it’s another! I had a visit with my lawyer last week on the 22nd. As of then the judge currently dealing with my case has still not appointed me a lawyer. When pressed as to why my lawyers have not been appointed to my case. Which without them being formally appointed they cannot file the things I need filed in my appeal and for future issues. The judge hinted that he was looking to appoint a different lawyer. NOW this makes NO sense at all! It means that another lawyer would have to spend time to get to learn my case, thus cost the county more money. The lawyers that was on my case and got me sent back to state court are fully aware of all the issues and have still kept on working on the issues I am focused on. What it is, is that the trial judge is trying to figure out a way to screw me over and stick me with some trash ass lawyer from west Texas that will play puppet to the local prosecutors. Just as my past lawyers have done. It's clear as can be, that the judge is NOT wanting my lawyers that are from outside of Texas on my case. I have the federal public defender’s office out of California. I am the only Texas death row inmate with a public defender on my case. I as well have Donald Vernay whom is from New Mexico. He is on the approved list of lawyers to work on Texas state appeals. (the federal public defenders have to sign on through Don as co-counsel, so Don has to be appointed)

The judge might have already appointed them, but as of today I haven't gotten any letter stating otherwise. So if the judge does appoint some local counsel I will have to begin the fight to get him off my case. Now I have easily proved that I did not do the murders, they did not properly investigate the crime scenes, the ones that they actually did investigate. 2 crime scenes was never investigated. It has as well been proven the prosecutor gave backroom deals to the witness in return for their testimony against me and had the witnesses lie about the deals under oath. There is as well much more. Yet instead of doing the right thing and acting according to justice they are trying to cover up their errors and would rather have me die for something I did not do, instead of admit they are wrong. Man these people are ruthless. The fact is that all scientific proof shows that I COULD NOT have been the shooter. All they have is a co defendant that I can prove already that he lied for the prosecution. Yet to hell with me, just kill me.

You know what really bothers me though? Is that most that read this act like they would rather read about events from my childhood then about how these people are trying to judicially slaughter me.If push comes to shove, I might have to retain a lawyer for this myself. So I am asking anyone that is willing to, to please donate to my defense fund. I ask that everyone please order my DVD. It's finally truly complete and the order information is on my website. http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3LnNhdmVhbmlubm9jZW50bGlmZS5jb20=. If there is any complications with this please send an email to Randi that operates the Christian site, or directly to my sister Christy Jetton. The paypal and mailbox information is on my website and pages. I appreciate any and all help. For those new to my MySpace page, please go to http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3LnNhdmVhbmlubm9jZW50bGlmZS5jb20= and read over the additional information associated with my case and past articles.

My mail has been slow this week, the days I get mail. See that's the problem with this place everyone has to kick up dust to get any act right. Lately they haven't even been mopping the runs at night time. All kinds of fires and shit have to be started just to get the floor mopped. It makes no sense at all. Then with the meals we get milk at breakfast only five days a week. The days we don't get milk we are supposed to get a vitamin c supplement drink. Basically some weird orange juice stuff. They haven't been giving that to us. Yet none of these bad asses here say anything. They brag about being this tough and that tough, yet they allow themselves to be systematically fucked over by the officials. Unless it’s about commisary. They keep us from being able to buy the snack items and coffee and stuff the prison sells us, people raise all kinds of hell. But what can be expected from a majority population that willingly lays down to die. long sigh.

Sometimes the section that I live in is the only section that gets mopped. There is a total of 36 sections in this building. Sometimes they try to get away without cleaning the shower. There is one shower for every seven cells. One on two row, and a second one on one row. Each row is seven cells. Each section is separated by a wall with a cross over door. So seven men share a shower. One at a time :) (it’s not a group shower) some of these uncivilized idiots do all kinds of stuff in the shower. So yeah, I get concerned with it being cleaned with bleach and scrub brushes. Its population inmates that do the cleaning, but it’s an officer that escorts them. So it’s on the officer to make them do the work.

They gave Reginald Blanton an execution date. Ya know, I like Reginald Blanton. Prison is racially separated for the most part. Death row isn't as bad as general population. It's the culture of prison. Anyways. I have always been real cool with Reginald and Obie Weathers. These two actually knew each other from the free world. We all have engaged in resistance against the system. This builds a bond. Reginald got screwed over on his state writ. He has some strong facts that support his claims so hopefully he can get a stay. Another here I truly love like a brother has had some good developments in his case and that is Charles Raby. He still has a ways to go, but I was happy to hear that it is still going in a positive direction.

I am still trying to get my stuff all situated. My life got turned inside out there for a minute. People putting their nose in other people’s business and others responding on emotion and doing counterproductive acts haven't helped any. Life goes on.

Anyways. I once again ask that everyone please order my DVD. There is lots of content on it. Even the police chase is included. People ask why did I run if I did not do it. Well I was on parole from TYC, young, been up for days on meth and they shot at me. So in short I didn't want to go to jail. Guilty or not, murder or no murder I still would have went to jail even for the parole violation.

As all can most likely tell, I am frustrated. I am just tired of people focusing on stupid B/S and frivolous drama. Stir up some drama hundreds got an opining. Ask about helping to prevent my slaughter or any ideas. Like only one or two got something to say. Anyways, I am going to wrap this one up. Catia your letter is on the way. Natalie I haven't heard from you in a while. I wrote you twice. I also want to thank Dominique for operating my facebook. I do need the messages Dom, thanks.I leave as I came.

Respectfully

Clinton Young #999447

Polunsky Unit

3872 FM 350 South

Livingston TX 77351

Copyright © 2009 by Clinton Lee Young. All rights reserved

Loud & Clear, August 16 2009

I don't know if my last article was posted yet, as I haven't gotten word from Randi or Christy yet. I said I wasn't going to address anymore bullshit drama. Please just bear with me here, read until the end. But I got to. It seems to be a never-ending theme with people with too much time on their hands and not enough brains in their heads to understand and grasp some realities.

Reality #1 I am an inmate housed on the death row of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. TDCJ for the alleged murders of 2 men for the use of their vehicles in a 24 hour period.Reality #2 Midland County and the Attorney General for the State of Texas want me to be executed.Reality #3 I want to live!!!

Now that's established. Allow me to get to other matters. It seems some people really do enjoy discussing my personal life. Anyone that has been in my life one way or another for more than 3 months, knows that I was in a relationship with Vera. Seems lots of people know every fucking thing. Sadly, some people was involved in our business that should not have been. People get frustrated and vent. An error Vera and I both share. The real problem comes in when these people speak on it.

We had a stormy relationship at times. Complicated by other people that want to post silly ass comments. Plus mix ups on dates, as well as our own complex natures. Vera and I split several times. So lots of shit gets mixed up. As I would tell someone I was single while we was split, and we would patch things up. Well that persons inability to consider the whole picture would say I said I was single. Well the internet provides for rapid communication. Letters take days, sometimes weeks. So shit gets mixed up and it appears I am up to no good. Now I should not have to say I am single, because it is no one's business!

I don't even like it when someone asks me if I am in a relationship, as it is no ones business, and if you are just trying to be my friend and help what does it matter? So much of my life is broadcast to the world. Am I allowed NO privacy? Now I have alot of walls around me. A person is no going to learn all about me in a week. I believe that friendship and relationships are like trees. They grow with time. Letters make it take 10 times as long as it would if we knew each other in person. Plus some people just don't click. Vera and I had some unique situations that caused our relationship to be more intense. We fell for each other fast. Some could say fools rush in. I know she loved me. I loved her. For a little bit I didn't know if I was coming or going. Then my defenses kicked in and I became distant and abrasive and what should have been the rebirth of our relationship became the worst part of it. She decided it best we be friends. I didn't want that. I felt stupid for some of my antics and we got back together. Then some stuff was done and said and I ended up ending our relationship. Now it is over and we don't even write each other. The one thing that I regret most is that Vera and I got to the point that we seemingly can't stand each other. I have always been able to stay on a friendship level with all my ex's.

People claim I cheated on Vera. That's stupid and false. I only cheated on one girl and that was Amber. (the girl I was with when I got this case). The only reason Amber knew is I told her! Alot of shit on the net is a product of confusion. It really is and also propaganda. I know I am not a bad guy that some try to make out to be. Most death row inmates don't have people from their life that support them. I write two ex girlfriends and used to even write Amber. I write my 5th grade teacher, used to write many other girls I knew from the free and even a guard from TYC. Most people I pushed them our of my life. When I was in the free people loved me. They respected me and trusted me. I got my flaws just like anyone. Now some post stuff and claim that I am manipulative for money and etc. OK, how I would do that is beyond me. Well no, it’s possible, but I will point out how it is not for ME! I currently have five dollars on my account. I just recently started asking people for financial help. People write me and expect me to write them. UH, where will I get the stamps? Sorry but I don't own a stamp making machine. We have to buy stamps from the prison. We can't work for money. Texas doesn't pay inmates. Some states do, but not Texas. Look it up on the TDCJ website. It tells you all!!

If I am trying to save up money to retain my own lawyer for a new trial and additional forensic testing. OK. If I need money for that. I do have a lawyer in mind! Cyndi has even talked with him and e is willing to take my case. Well if I got to raise money for this and I ask you "Hey would you mind buying my DVD and making a donation each month so my defense fund can grow and I can get what I need?" Now how is that manipulating for money. Now, is it not possible that pro death penalty people could be posting shit on me to get people to not trust me? I mean if I want to discredit and hurt a death row inmate. I would go to an open forum and rant about how he tried to use me and etc. A few years back TDCJ released some use of force videos. I was the ONLY inmate that 2 videos was released of and I was also the only inmate that they made a comment about. They stated "Clinton Young is exceptionally violent and likes to fight" This was done because of all the attention the "Uncensored" articles I wrote, which I took over after Richard Cartwright was executed, got!

So TDCJ wanted to discredit me. I made a comment about it to a high rank and he smiled and said "you do what you gotta do!" meaning that they was indeed trying to discredit me. However they made an error. They expected all of the world to think like them. The people that viewed it from other states and countries were sickened by the degree of force they used on me. So the videos getting released to the media helped me more than anything. Anyways the point is that the pro death penalty people do use propaganda tactics. I have had several people write me in the past and try to pull me into certain topics and etc, to use words against me.

Now this is part of why I move slow with people. As I want to get to know them. I really do get people trying to kill me. So a degree of paranoia gets formed. It has to to survive. Though I m able to often read between the lines and can tell by word patterns of a person’s intent. Sometimes. I am not stupid! Far from it. I even had an idiot that acted like she knew me posting stuff some years ago, that I got off on hurting small animals and done it all the tie as a kid. Now why is that "animal" part important? Serial killers start out hurting small animals. Now my sisters can tell you all that as a kid I loved animals. We had all kinds of pets. If I could catch it we had it. My Mom and step dad both hunted. My grandfather wrote a book on hunting deer. Had numerous trophy heads hanging on his walls with assorted rifles. My Mom bagged her first deer at 16. So my parents, grandparents, (even my grandmother) have all hunted deer. Guess how many I have hunted? ZERO! My step dad used to pick on me as a kid playing around he would tell me I needed to put on an apron and stay in the kitchen with my Mom. Basically say I was a sissy because I didn't like to hunt, etc. Hey Bambi ruined it for me.

Point is that people can say whatever. It doesn't make it true because they said it. 300 guys on death row say they are innocent. I as well claim I am innocent. The difference? I can prove it! I have reports that show with scientific certainty that I could not have been the shooter. I can also prove that am here for a case that hasn't been fully or properly investigated. I can prove people lied in my trial. I can prove the prosecutor had people lie. Hell that is why I am back in trial court. I can prove my earlier appeal was a sham due to stupid lawyers. Why is there not such fervor and open discussions about this?I could be off of death row within 6-8 months and win my case if people would unite and focus on my case and victory. Instead I got to deal with a bunch of stupid ass shit! Now if I was trying to manipulate people I wouldn't be so out in t open. I am wide open on the internet, and I try to unite the people I write and campaign for me.

Now it seems that some don’t understand flirting. I am from the South. There is something called "Southern Charm". It's a culture thing. Example. I say sweetheart alot. Now some people over seas get confused by that and take it as flirting. I call my Mom sweetheart. I call my sisters that. Hell I have even slipped and called female guards her that. Vera understands this after her trip to Texas. She had many make comments to her. People that travel the south will tell you. People are friendly. More so older people. Example. I go to the store an old lady is coming out with a bag of food. I say excuse me ma'm can I help you with that? she says "yes" and I help her carry them to her car. She says "thank you" and I say "my pleasure, take care sweetheart" and go on about my business. Now would you say I was flirting with her? I was raised in a neighborhood with mostly elderly people. My Mom and step father was the youngest couple. So I spent most of my time around adults and not kids my age. So I never had the punk kid demeanor. If I didn't say yes sir, no sir or yes mam no mam to someone that was an elder. My Mom would wash my mouth with soap and say something like "boy I raised you better than that, you better act like you got some manners" Now if I was in NY city and I offered to help an old lady, she might think I was trying to steal her groceries. Tell people yes ma'am or no ma'am and they might just cuss you out. I would go into a store and a girl my age would work the counter. After she gave me my change I would say "thank you ma'am". Now in some places like up north the girl might say "why you call me ma'am I ain't old" But in the deep south they smile and say have a good day. I have a complex mixture of old school new school. I have a degree of "Southern Gentleman" charm about me. So sometimes I am just being polite. If a girl sends me a picture and she is pretty. I tell her "thanks for the picture, you are very pretty". That is just a statement of fact, not flirting. Though I guess in some cultures it is. I am not changing who I am for no one. Point is, when you write me understand I come from a different part of the world then you do. Texas is unique to America.

Now to the player bullshit. It seems people don't grasp that term. I was never considered a player when I was free. Some can say that I spent so much time locked up. Let me give you some life facts. First time I tried to have sex I was 9. She was 13 or 14. First time I had full on sex from start to finish was 11 with the same girl. She was a babysitter. By the time I was 13 I lived with a girl. Everyone say hi to Randi. Yes the same Randi that operates my (Christian) MySpace. We lived like we was married. First time my Mom got a "your son got my daughter pregnant" phone call was right after my 13th birthday. Before I met Randi. Thankfully the girl wasn't pregnant. Yeah, I have been with many chicks, but a guy hooking up with a girl for a one night stand does not make him a player. As both want it. A player lies and uses girls. That's not me. I don't use people. Just as I really don't like to ask for help. But I am in a situation that I have no choice. I got alot of women in my life as this is who writes me and gets involved. Most the dudes that write are gay. I don't knock anyone’s life style. But I am just not interested in writing or reading about gay sex. Sadly most try to take it here so I stop writing them. One gay dude wanted to be my dad..

So the point to all is that I cannot control who comes into my life. have had all kinds of weirdo’s write. Please people trying to be sneaky and slick. Be it to write a book or to get me to say something that they can use to harm me, such as something about my case. So I am not a trustfull person. It takes time. If you be you and let me be me, you be honest and sincere and with time I will open up more and more and we can develop a meaningful friendship.

I have had a lot of stress lately. I went through a break up with a woman I loved. I have the situation with my case. I have been arguing with some of my loved ones. Then there is the stress of this place. There is stuff going on in here. There has honestly been times I just felt balling up on my bed and crying. I got all kinds shit to deal with. I don't want drama. I don't want lots of girls I can write sex letters with. (FYI, I have only written like 7 or 8 letters like that since I been here and I have had hundreds write me throughout the years) All I want is people that can write m and develop a friendship with and help me win my case. My websites are not dating sites. My website is NOT http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3Lndob3dpbGxtYXJyeW1lLmNvbQ== It is http://www.saveaninnocentlife.com/

My campaign gets distorted because so many focus on my looks and not my case. So I am good looking? ok great. I can be a good looking corpse if I can't get the help I need. So please everyone. Focus on what matters. Also understand that people do and say things when they are mad. I am human just as everyone else is. I know I don't help matters at times. But no one is perfect. I don't want to be a celebrity. I want people to understand that I am more than a death row inmate. I have had a short but eventful life. Yet there is so much life I haven't had. The only thing that should've mattered to everyone reading this. Is my claim that I am innocent. The rest was wasted words. You get the point.

Respectfully

Clinton Young #999447

Polunsky Unit

3872 FM 350 South

Livingston TX 77351

Copyright © 2009 by Clinton Lee Young. All rights reserved

Loud & Clear, May 27 2009

Greetings!

I guess I can start this with the most exciting portions of my past week. Friday while kicked back writing a letter to Heather, I was disturbed by an officer coming up the stairs. I seen he had a pipe chase key in his hand to shut off the water to the toilet. This is to keep us from flushing contraband. Well, I knew right away, shake down time. When I seen him look towards my end of the run. Well just great! Then when he opened my pipe chase I uttered, "man what the fuck?". To which his response was, "special shake down", meaning that the higher ranks sent them to my cell due to some form of information they have received. So I was stripped out and taken to a legal booth cage, then stripped out again by a rank. They then stood there lookin at me until the metal detector chair could be rolled down the hall. It is a chair that you sit in and it detects if there is any kind of metal object on you. Well, I am just in boxer shorts when I left my cell. So the only way that I could have had something is if it was 'inside' of me. That was the whole point of the chair. Well I sit in the chair. Nothing! I put my face on the platform, to detect anything in my mouth. Still nothing. Well they put me back in the cage and come back and at the same time commissary officer was asking me about my ice cream, as we got commissary on Friday. She wanted to know if I wanted it in the booth or to credit my account, as if they put it in my cell, it could melt. I look at the rank and I can just tell by the amount of officers, I ain't going back to my cell. So I say, "what's up?" he said, "got to make another trip!" so I ask, "medical?" he replied in the affirmative. So I just told the lady to put it in my cell. I got stripped out again and then off to medical I go. They x-rayed me twice! Once while laying down and once while standing up, to see if I had anything 'inside' of me.

An inmate here had a cell phone up his ass & the chair didn't detect it, but the x-ray of course did. This is why they started using the x-ray machine. Now after the x-ray's get processed they hang them up and the rank and nurse are standing there debating why they couldn't find anything in me. I stated, "Look, I ain't about to stick nothing up my ass. Nothing is worth that much to keep!". This of course brought a round of giggles and smirks from the officers. The nurse then asks me, "so what do you got?" I said, "I ain't got shit! If I did I wouldn't hide it up my ass, ya'll ain't about to have me out here pulling nothing out of my ass pointing and giggling at me." Well after all that they finally let me go back to my cell. They also x-rayed all my property. They have this machine here that is like an airport screener that has a belt fed system. So back to my cell I go to unpack all my stuff and well, I didn’t until today, so my cell looked like a tornado hit it. :) These people was really convinced I had something. Maybe it was just random. Inmates have hidden things inside them for ages. It is called "keestering" it. Hey, to each his own, but homie don't play that! As for the x-ray, I don't consider it to be really out of line. I don't like the x-rays, as I don't want to be exposed to that. The nurse told me it is harmless. I somehow doubt that medical x-ray's don't add up to some harmful amount. Anways. A prison does have to maintain security. So I can understand it. But when they do it all the time, that is something else. I have only been x-rayed twice though. But I never been caught with anything 'in' me, so I really don't think it's fair they go that route. You can read about the guy that got caught with the cell phone in him. Just look up "x-ray turns up cell phone".

Anyways. Still no word on my case, though several recent rulings out of America's top court, The United States Supreme Court, are helpful to my case! So that is good. I haven't smashed on the system so much lately, as well, to be honest I am nervous to. :) I ain't trying to piss anyone off as far as judges and etc. c/s. But there is a case out of Pennsylvania. Two judges there was removed from the bench for sending kids to juvenile prison camps for profit. They was getting paid and it's said, made millions off of sending hundreds of kids to prison camps for kids. They fucked off all them kids lives for some money. Now in America we look at judges as "THE LAW". A judge is the closest thing to a dictator America has. After all, it was the court that decided the election of Bush and Gore. Now it's not fair to look at judges themselves in a negative manner. But they are human just as lawyers and prosecutors are. Most judges, if not all, are defense lawyers or prosecutors before they become a judge. Alot of defense lawyers started out as prosecutors, which can be good training experience. One judge was in the news for using a penis pump while sitting on the bench conducting court! :) I swear! People would hear a weird pumping noise and noone could figure it out until an assistant stumbled across the penis pump. (To those not knowing what that is, it's a cylinder that a guy put's on him and squeezes a pump. It is supposed to help increase size.) I mean that is out there! I just can't imagine some old judge sitting on the bench during court using one of these! :) Hahaha Damn it! Another judge in El Paso Texas was recently removed from office by the U.S. Marshal for some sex offense. Like using his capacity as a judge to try to gain sexual favors. There was even an article in Newsweek recently titled "when judges go bad". ("I wanna know" by Joe is on the radio. That's one of my favorite R&B love songs. Though I am not really in the mood to be listening to songs like that.)

Anyways. As for my d.v.d, well as of my last visit with my sister Christy, she reported that the other videos to be placed on it was received by her and sent to Vera so that the d.v.d can FINALLY get finished. To be honest, several times I have thought about saying to hell with it and cancel the damn thing. Two freakin years I been tryin to get the thing done!! :( I am not holding my breath that is for damn sure. Vera has had the cases and design ready, just not the videos. Now that she has them, hopefully finally all will be done. There was much more I could have added to the book part. I actually thought about doing that. But due to all the delays, I just want to get it done. I will have the other parts that I was going to add posted on my website. Part of the reason I didn't put all on the disk, is I wanted to encourage those that order the disk that haven't seen my site to actually visit it and read all my blogs and etc. This way they can read up on my case and etc.

Oh yeah Louise Driver, hey I got your letter but I can't make out the complete address! I can't find your original e-mail that had the address, so please send me your address, so I can get this letter mailed to you! Thanks!

Next subject. Music. I have mentioned songs several times here. I can actually recall the exact moment I heard some of my favorite songs. When I was a kid I was at my aunt Pam's house with my dad, sister and twin brothers as well as an assortment of other relatives from my dads side of the family. Well of my brothers, (Dino and Dano, no lie that’s their names. :). ) I always felt closer to Dino. He was always considered the compassionate one. Dano was the asshole. Me and him have had a rocky past few years due to his testimony against me. He had no facts on the murders, but the fact is he got on the stand for the prosecution. I always felt it was because he didn’t want to go back to jail and risk loosing this trash he was with at the time. She is the one that Amber's statement makes mention of her kids. Anyways. No D.A could ever get me on the stand. c/s Back to the point. My dad had his truck radio blaring. I was messing around with one of my cousins or something when 'Bad to the Bone' by George Thurgood came on the radio. Dino yelled out, "Bubba there's your song!" so I just took off running and climbed up into my dads truck cab and twisted my head towards the speakers and just listened to each word. Afterwards I just smiled from ear to ear. :) ha Somehow I think that song had an impact on me. :) ha A few years later while in the garage with my step father during the winter working on something. I can’t exactly recall what but I do recall bending over using a grinder on some assortment of metal, when 'Shooting Star' by Bad Company came over the radio. I stood up staring at the radio, listening to the song play. I actually never knew who sang it until I got here!. The same sort of situation played out to 'Simple Man' by Lynard Skynard. But that day I even remember what I was wearing and the way I was standing. As the radio was to my left when Bad Company came on, but it was on my right when Simple Man came on. (different ways of course.) The radio never moved until my step dad got rid of that garage and it always stayed on the classic rock station. Now I am sure I heard these songs some other time, but they never registered. I mean I actually froze while listening to the song! I do got a unnatural ability to remember things in detail, but it always amazed me that I can recall the exact moment where I heard so many songs. I was sitting in front of the t.v watching MTV in Gillette Wyoming when "Runaway Train" by Soul asylum came on. I was 9! When I came back to Wyoming, I was walkin around the trailer park where my dad lived with his girlfriend, her daughter and my sister Christy, when a guy was working on his radio. He was putting some house speakers into his car and was trying to get them wired up. He was listening to "Entersandman" by Metallica. First time I ever heard it. Sometimes I like a song for the lyrics, sometimes for the beat or the voice. My favorite female singer as far as lyrics and just her nature is Miranda Lambert. As far as voice is by far Sugarland, with songs like "Stay", "Come Home Soon" and etc. Well I'm not sure if she sings 'Come Home Soon'. I haven't heard it in so long. But "Stay" is better, as it's mainly just her voice. Reba McIntire (not sure how to spell her last name) but I like the country twang in her voice. A pair of OLD songs that always make me tear up is "Giddy up go" and "Teddy Bear". Both are by Reo Sovine. I am just guessing on the spelling of his last name but it sounds like Soulfine when they say it on the radio. The songs are from the late 60's, early 70's. Way before I was born. :) But if you can listen to those songs and NOT have to wipe your eyes, something ain't right with ya. Anyways, I had listed some songs I like to a friend and she pointed out that I like mainly the lyrics of songs. I never even thought about it. But she is pretty much right. I often wonder if my favorite songs are a reflection of my psyche. I mean, I do like songs based on some sort of manner that I can attach my self to it. Just like with the song "Dear Momma" by Tupac. Those that don't know, he's a dead rapper. Now parts of that song don't apply, but lots do. The basic theme of it did. I mean my mom wasn't a crack fiene, not black and never been on welfare! But other than that it's on point in most areas. One thing I noticed is that "Dear Momma", "Simple Man" and "Shooting Star" all involve a guy and his mom. When I was younger my mom was always the most important person in my life. So I figure that is what made those songs stand out so much.

A side Note. My next few articles are going to be longer then average as I am going to tie in parts that I was going to put in my book. Life story stuff, favorite books, music and such. I know Brandi, Regina and Christy are going to be cussing me out at all the typing they are going to be doing. :) haha

As I said, my sister Christy came to see me last week. Had a good visit! I just got alot on my mind lately. Stress through the roof! A highlight was that she mentioned one of my ex-girlfriends that had located me. A girl I was with when I lived in North Carolina with my dad and Christy. This of course brought up all kinds of stories and people that Christy and I knew. I tried to be 10 years older then I was, so I associated with older people. Which is how me and Christy knew the same people. I thought it was pretty neat that Randi had located me, as like three or four days before I had my visit with Christy, I was talking about childhood war stories with my friend Charles Raby. We was talkin about ex-girlfriends, wild nights and the sort. He had mentioned some event that made me tell a story, one of those, "man that reminds me of the time", kind of stories. He mentioned some girl that was crazy or something. I think the base of our stories was about girls that hit dudes. As the story I told about Randi, was the time I was just out of my mind drunk in a motel room. Well when she came in the room it was just me and two girls. So I know how it might have looked to her, but it just so happened that all the other dudes that was in the room had went outside. One of those "perfect storms" kind of moments. Well she didnt like me drinking. There was personal reasons that have to do with another person. Anyways. There I was in a chair just toasted and she came in the room calling my name. I opened my eyes and all I could see was a "Myrtle Beach" t-shirt with a smile face calling my name. So I replied. "Who the hell are you!?" Hey I thought the smile face was calling me! Well as soon as I said that BAM! she hit me. After she hit me, I shook my head, look up and said "Oh hey Randi!" She then grabbed me by my hair and I guess you could say she helped me out of the motel room. :) haha I of course repeated that same story and many others while visiting Christy. I just thought it was neat as I've been reading this book, "The Secret" and it talks about how things get willed into exisitence. So it was neat, I was talking about her and then she pops up. All the memories that came flooding back! I used to get out of school and would walk her home along with a couple of school friends. If I wasn't at her dads house, I was at the Food Lion near my homeboy Robert's house. Well, minutes before five I would take off running home. Thats it! Me and Charles was talking about running as a kid and that led to stories about old girlfriends and etc. Anyways. It amazes me now thinking back on it how I could run at full speed from the Food Lion to my dads house. That had to be a good two miles! It was the Food Lion in Kannapolis North Carolina. My dads house was right off North Cannon Blvd. across from the KFC. So if all that is still in the same place, I guess google maps could tell the distance. The road I ran went right in front of AL Brown high school. Anyways, I would run in the house, jump on the couch and then a couple minutes later my dad would walk in the door. O of course acted like I been there the whole time. :) haha That made me just think about the arguements my sister Christy and I used to have. :) ha I remember one time she told me to 'shut up' as I kept saying some assorted word or another that was cool or I thought to be at the time. ;) Well she started going off on me, so I replied. "Yo chill out, your crimpin my style." she responded with, "You ain't got no style, your a dumbass!" ;) haha! God ya gotta love older sisters! While there were many highlights in my life at that point, there was many dark moments as well. My relationship with my father started getting even more chaotic. I was associating with older more aggressive people. So I of course picked up personality traits, well my dad was an abusive person. So I was getting to the point to where I was getting tired of being a victim. Then the event took place where my dad beat me with the 2x4 board. (a two inch thick by two inch wide board.) All because of a school prank. That single event had a profound effect on me. The next time he put his hands on me, I fought back. I didn't see him again untill I was 17. I tried to tell myself, "I only got one dad, he only knows how to do what his dad done to him." but that event always popped into my head. I was working with him. Well that didn't last long at all. He fired me on my day off, over an arguement I got into with Dano's girlfriend! Thats just the kind of idiot my dad was. Well I was mad and he had been drinking, so I popped off and said something and somehow my mom got brought up and he called my mom a bitch. So I jumped to my feet and said "Don't talk about my mom like that". So he got up and I started towards him. I mumbled, "I ain't a kid no more". So he started towards me and he made some comment about " O so you wanna be a tough guy". I just stopped and walked away and yelled "Man fuck you!". I really wanted to just beat his ass that day! My dad while older, wasn't weak. But I was worried about killing him. I didn't feel like going back to jail. He had had two heart attacks by this point, so when I started towards him I thought "man I'm gonna beat his ass and he's gonna have a heart attack, then I'm going to end up back in jail." So I just walked away. After that I rode back with him and my brother and his chick to East Texas. I didn't say a word really on the way back. I left my oldest sister's wedding with Dino and Dano and went and got my car, came back to watch my sister get married and then I left. I didn't see my dad or sister's again untill court on this case.

Back to North Carolina. Well during this time I was dealing with the events of my dad and was facing a turning point in my life. Plus I was not taking the A.D.H.D meds I had been ,as a kid, taking for years. So when I ended up back at my mom's, here in Texas, I wasn't trying to hear what my step father was talkin about, or my mom for that matter. I ran away a few times and then ended up beginning my journey through the juvenile system. I think really, I just became aware! When my dad done what he done with that board, I became aware that I had been a victim far too many times. The shit I dealt with from my step dad and my real father. I just became aware of it all. I think my mom caught some of the blame as she's the one that had me with my father and she was the one married to my step dad. That's how I looked at it. She no longer could control me which is how I ended up in the placement which led me going to T.Y.C. The prosecutor tries to use my juvenile record against me. Well what they never pointed out, it was my own mom that got me sent to juvenile, because there's no way she could have controled me. And to be honest I wasn't even mad when she took me to the police station. As we were on our way back from Louisiana where I had just been arrested in a stolen car with two others. Me and another kid took his step mom's car, along with my girlfriend at that time, Tasha. Well my step dad told my mom to do something with me, but not to bring me back home. When she told me this, it only set me off even more. My thinking was, okay make HIS ass leave! Well by the time we got to the police station, I had told her I would rather be locked up then live with them. I even tried to jump out of the truck. I told the cop, when he told me they was taking me to juvenile, 'I don't give a shit!'. Well after two weeks of being locked in that damn cell, I changed my mind and wanted to go home. :) ha. Something about jail sure does make that happen. I was doing good. Everything was alright on the home front, untill two dudes I was with broke into a neighbor's house. I stayed outside. I didn't go in the house, as my probation officer told me I was going to go to T.Y.C if I got into anymore trouble. Well the IDIOTS I was with showed their mom the stuff they stole or something like that. My mom found out and somehow or another a cop ended up at my house. I ended up going to juvenile lock up for that. I was riding in the cop car and the cop told me, "your buddies blamed you for everything." I said "yeah thats what you all say!". Well the cop replied "No. I am serious. I am not trying to get you to snitch. Your buddies really did blame everything on you!". So I just said, "well, who had the most stuff?" and we took the rest of the trip in silence. That was Dec. 15, 1997. I will get into my journey through the juvenile system in greater detail in another article. This one is getting too long! :) A side note is that everytime I got in trouble with others, I always ended up being the only one that didn't say anything! So who get's the worse of the deal? Your's truely!

This article has covered shake down's, ex-girlfriend's, favorite song's, juvenile chaos and child abuse. Needless to say, it's been all over the place. It's kind of like me I guess. I just go with the flow and adjust as it comes at me. I didn't mean to sit down and make this as long as I did. But when I started, I just got in the mood to keep going. O well. Anyways, I need to wrap this up so I can get some letters ready to go out. Tune in next week. I leave as I came. Peace out!
Respectfully,

Clinton Young #999447

Polunsky unit

3872 FM 350 South

Livingston TX 77351

Copyright © 2009 by Clinton Lee Young. All rights reserved