Friday, September 4, 2009

Loud & Clear, August 16 2009

I don't know if my last article was posted yet, as I haven't gotten word from Randi or Christy yet. I said I wasn't going to address anymore bullshit drama. Please just bear with me here, read until the end. But I got to. It seems to be a never-ending theme with people with too much time on their hands and not enough brains in their heads to understand and grasp some realities.
Reality #1 I am an inmate housed on the death row of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. TDCJ for the alleged murders of 2 men for the use of their vehicles in a 24 hour period.Reality #2 Midland County and the Attorney General for the State of Texas want me to be executed.Reality #3 I want to live!!!
Now that's established. Allow me to get to other matters. It seems some people really do enjoy discussing my personal life. Anyone that has been in my life one way or another for more than 3 months, knows that I was in a relationship with Vera. Seems lots of people know every fucking thing. Sadly, some people was involved in our business that should not have been. People get frustrated and vent. An error Vera and I both share. The real problem comes in when these people speak on it.
We had a stormy relationship at times. Complicated by other people that want to post silly ass comments. Plus mix ups on dates, as well as our own complex natures. Vera and I split several times. So lots of shit gets mixed up. As I would tell someone I was single while we was split, and we would patch things up. Well that persons inability to consider the whole picture would say I said I was single. Well the internet provides for rapid communication. Letters take days, sometimes weeks. So shit gets mixed up and it appears I am up to no good. Now I should not have to say I am single, because it is no one's business!
I don't even like it when someone asks me if I am in a relationship, as it is no ones business, and if you are just trying to be my friend and help what does it matter? So much of my life is broadcast to the world. Am I allowed NO privacy? Now I have alot of walls around me. A person is no going to learn all about me in a week. I believe that friendship and relationships are like trees. They grow with time. Letters make it take 10 times as long as it would if we knew each other in person. Plus some people just don't click. Vera and I had some unique situations that caused our relationship to be more intense. We fell for each other fast. Some could say fools rush in. I know she loved me. I loved her. For a little bit I didn't know if I was coming or going. Then my defenses kicked in and I became distant and abrasive and what should have been the rebirth of our relationship became the worst part of it. She decided it best we be friends. I didn't want that. I felt stupid for some of my antics and we got back together. Then some stuff was done and said and I ended up ending our relationship. Now it is over and we don't even write each other. The one thing that I regret most is that Vera and I got to the point that we seemingly can't stand each other. I have always been able to stay on a friendship level with all my ex's.
People claim I cheated on Vera. That's stupid and false. I only cheated on one girl and that was Amber. (the girl I was with when I got this case). The only reason Amber knew is I told her! Alot of shit on the net is a product of confusion. It really is and also propaganda. I know I am not a bad guy that some try to make out to be. Most death row inmates don't have people from their life that support them. I write two ex girlfriends and used to even write Amber. I write my 5th grade teacher, used to write many other girls I knew from the free and even a guard from TYC. Most people I pushed them our of my life. When I was in the free people loved me. They respected me and trusted me. I got my flaws just like anyone. Now some post stuff and claim that I am manipulative for money and etc. OK, how I would do that is beyond me. Well no, it’s possible, but I will point out how it is not for ME! I currently have five dollars on my account. I just recently started asking people for financial help. People write me and expect me to write them. UH, where will I get the stamps? Sorry but I don't own a stamp making machine. We have to buy stamps from the prison. We can't work for money. Texas doesn't pay inmates. Some states do, but not Texas. Look it up on the TDCJ website. It tells you all!!
If I am trying to save up money to retain my own lawyer for a new trial and additional forensic testing. OK. If I need money for that. I do have a lawyer in mind! Cyndi has even talked with him and e is willing to take my case. Well if I got to raise money for this and I ask you "Hey would you mind buying my DVD and making a donation each month so my defense fund can grow and I can get what I need?" Now how is that manipulating for money. Now, is it not possible that pro death penalty people could be posting shit on me to get people to not trust me? I mean if I want to discredit and hurt a death row inmate. I would go to an open forum and rant about how he tried to use me and etc. A few years back TDCJ released some use of force videos. I was the ONLY inmate that 2 videos was released of and I was also the only inmate that they made a comment about. They stated "Clinton Young is exceptionally violent and likes to fight" This was done because of all the attention the "Uncensored" articles I wrote, which I took over after Richard Cartwright was executed, got!
So TDCJ wanted to discredit me. I made a comment about it to a high rank and he smiled and said "you do what you gotta do!" meaning that they was indeed trying to discredit me. However they made an error. They expected all of the world to think like them. The people that viewed it from other states and countries were sickened by the degree of force they used on me. So the videos getting released to the media helped me more than anything. Anyways the point is that the pro death penalty people do use propaganda tactics. I have had several people write me in the past and try to pull me into certain topics and etc, to use words against me.
Now this is part of why I move slow with people. As I want to get to know them. I really do get people trying to kill me. So a degree of paranoia gets formed. It has to to survive. Though I m able to often read between the lines and can tell by word patterns of a person’s intent. Sometimes. I am not stupid! Far from it. I even had an idiot that acted like she knew me posting stuff some years ago, that I got off on hurting small animals and done it all the tie as a kid. Now why is that "animal" part important? Serial killers start out hurting small animals. Now my sisters can tell you all that as a kid I loved animals. We had all kinds of pets. If I could catch it we had it. My Mom and step dad both hunted. My grandfather wrote a book on hunting deer. Had numerous trophy heads hanging on his walls with assorted rifles. My Mom bagged her first deer at 16. So my parents, grandparents, (even my grandmother) have all hunted deer. Guess how many I have hunted? ZERO! My step dad used to pick on me as a kid playing around he would tell me I needed to put on an apron and stay in the kitchen with my Mom. Basically say I was a sissy because I didn't like to hunt, etc. Hey Bambi ruined it for me.
Point is that people can say whatever. It doesn't make it true because they said it. 300 guys on death row say they are innocent. I as well claim I am innocent. The difference? I can prove it! I have reports that show with scientific certainty that I could not have been the shooter. I can also prove that am here for a case that hasn't been fully or properly investigated. I can prove people lied in my trial. I can prove the prosecutor had people lie. Hell that is why I am back in trial court. I can prove my earlier appeal was a sham due to stupid lawyers. Why is there not such fervor and open discussions about this?I could be off of death row within 6-8 months and win my case if people would unite and focus on my case and victory. Instead I got to deal with a bunch of stupid ass shit! Now if I was trying to manipulate people I wouldn't be so out in t open. I am wide open on the internet, and I try to unite the people I write and campaign for me.
Now it seems that some don’t understand flirting. I am from the South. There is something called "Southern Charm". It's a culture thing. Example. I say sweetheart alot. Now some people over seas get confused by that and take it as flirting. I call my Mom sweetheart. I call my sisters that. Hell I have even slipped and called female guards her that. Vera understands this after her trip to Texas. She had many make comments to her. People that travel the south will tell you. People are friendly. More so older people. Example. I go to the store an old lady is coming out with a bag of food. I say excuse me ma'm can I help you with that? she says "yes" and I help her carry them to her car. She says "thank you" and I say "my pleasure, take care sweetheart" and go on about my business. Now would you say I was flirting with her? I was raised in a neighborhood with mostly elderly people. My Mom and step father was the youngest couple. So I spent most of my time around adults and not kids my age. So I never had the punk kid demeanor. If I didn't say yes sir, no sir or yes mam no mam to someone that was an elder. My Mom would wash my mouth with soap and say something like "boy I raised you better than that, you better act like you got some manners" Now if I was in NY city and I offered to help an old lady, she might think I was trying to steal her groceries. Tell people yes ma'am or no ma'am and they might just cuss you out. I would go into a store and a girl my age would work the counter. After she gave me my change I would say "thank you ma'am". Now in some places like up north the girl might say "why you call me ma'am I ain't old" But in the deep south they smile and say have a good day. I have a complex mixture of old school new school. I have a degree of "Southern Gentleman" charm about me. So sometimes I am just being polite. If a girl sends me a picture and she is pretty. I tell her "thanks for the picture, you are very pretty". That is just a statement of fact, not flirting. Though I guess in some cultures it is. I am not changing who I am for no one. Point is, when you write me understand I come from a different part of the world then you do. Texas is unique to America.
Now to the player bullshit. It seems people don't grasp that term. I was never considered a player when I was free. Some can say that I spent so much time locked up. Let me give you some life facts. First time I tried to have sex I was 9. She was 13 or 14. First time I had full on sex from start to finish was 11 with the same girl. She was a babysitter. By the time I was 13 I lived with a girl. Everyone say hi to Randi. Yes the same Randi that operates my (Christian) MySpace. We lived like we was married. First time my Mom got a "your son got my daughter pregnant" phone call was right after my 13th birthday. Before I met Randi. Thankfully the girl wasn't pregnant. Yeah, I have been with many chicks, but a guy hooking up with a girl for a one night stand does not make him a player. As both want it. A player lies and uses girls. That's not me. I don't use people. Just as I really don't like to ask for help. But I am in a situation that I have no choice. I got alot of women in my life as this is who writes me and gets involved. Most the dudes that write are gay. I don't knock anyone’s life style. But I am just not interested in writing or reading about gay sex. Sadly most try to take it here so I stop writing them. One gay dude wanted to be my dad..
So the point to all is that I cannot control who comes into my life. have had all kinds of weirdo’s write. Please people trying to be sneaky and slick. Be it to write a book or to get me to say something that they can use to harm me, such as something about my case. So I am not a trustfull person. It takes time. If you be you and let me be me, you be honest and sincere and with time I will open up more and more and we can develop a meaningful friendship.
I have had a lot of stress lately. I went through a break up with a woman I loved. I have the situation with my case. I have been arguing with some of my loved ones. Then there is the stress of this place. There is stuff going on in here. There has honestly been times I just felt balling up on my bed and crying. I got all kinds shit to deal with. I don't want drama. I don't want lots of girls I can write sex letters with. (FYI, I have only written like 7 or 8 letters like that since I been here and I have had hundreds write me throughout the years) All I want is people that can write m and develop a friendship with and help me win my case. My websites are not dating sites. My website is NOT http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3Lndob3dpbGxtYXJyeW1lLmNvbQ== It is http://www.saveaninnocentlife.com/
My campaign gets distorted because so many focus on my looks and not my case. So I am good looking? ok great. I can be a good looking corpse if I can't get the help I need. So please everyone. Focus on what matters. Also understand that people do and say things when they are mad. I am human just as everyone else is. I know I don't help matters at times. But no one is perfect. I don't want to be a celebrity. I want people to understand that I am more than a death row inmate. I have had a short but eventful life. Yet there is so much life I haven't had. The only thing that should've mattered to everyone reading this. Is my claim that I am innocent. The rest was wasted words. You get the point.
Respectfully
Clinton Young #999447
Polunsky Unit
3872 FM 350 South
Livingston TX 77351

Copyright © 2009 by Clinton Lee Young. All rights reserved

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